Father! - To God himself we cannot give a holier name. Happy Father’s Day 2013

"I have had a hard life, but my hardships are nothing compared to the hardships that my father went through to get me where I started." A quote from Bartrand Hubbard, a quote that is true to most of us. A quote which, though true, we do not say out because of pride. Because of lack of appreciation. Fatherhood has been turned into a job, a career path for most men. The job best described in three word, provider, proVIDER, PROVIDER. That is the thankless position of fathers in the family- the provider of all, and the enemy of all. Fathers have not been appreciated and have been turned into basic necessities, something someone should have, but believe me, that’s not the case. It is a pity that for us humans, that it takes loosing something, to finally realize and appreciate its value. I lost my dad when I was ten, and believe me when I say, I could trade anything in this world, ANYTHING, just to share a moment with my father again. I suddenly remember being very little and being embraced by my father. I would try to put my arms around my father's waist, hug him back. I could never reach the equator of his body; he was that much larger than life. Then one day, I could do it. I held him in my arms, but instead he never held me back, he was gone. And, all I have ever wanted since then, is to have things back as they were, when I couldn’t hold him. Usually when I am asked the reason why i study so hard and aim to be so successful, my answer has always been the same. " I want to be able to afford,  to trade everything that I would have accumulated, just to have a moment with my father, when that opportunity comes." 

Even though, dad has been gone for so long, when something special happens to me, I talk to him secretly not really knowing whether he hears, but it makes me feel better to half believe it. You know, it’s at moments and days like these, that I truly miss that man. That man would promise us that things would be ok. I was a child then, but clearly I could see that everything would not be ok. That did not make my father a liar. It made him my FATHER. You know, the greatest gift, which a child can ever have when growing up is a father. Growing up, I had a friend, who used to always brag about how brilliant a firefighter, his father was. He always said that, "Collin, you know what; God will definitely make my father go to heaven, because if He makes the mistake of taking him to hell, my father will put out all the fires in hell." That’s just how much we love our fathers. They are the closest thing that can be likened to a super-hero. They are selfless. Of course, no doubt, mothers take the trophy and will always have the spot light and constant appreciation. But, the fact that there is someone behind the scenes, who makes mum bring out her best, is something that makes father's, IRREPLACEABLE. A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

Oh the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away. That’s how I can express the feeling of having a father. To the youth, always know that it is much easier and nicer to become a father than to be one. Let us respect our fathers, as they are God given. The bible, in Exodus 20:12, states the fifth commandment: Honor your father and your mother; so that you may have long life in the land that the Lord has given you. Proverbs 6:20 says," My son, obey your father and don't neglect your mothers’ teachings." A wise father knows his child. But maybe it is a very wise child who takes time to know his father.

I shall conclude by the words of Pope John XXIII who said, "It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a father. To the father's, Colossians 3:21 says, "Fathers don’t aggravate your children. If you do, they will become discouraged and quit trying. Ephesians 6: 4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord." A rich man is one whose children run into his arms when his hands are empty. A father is a man who carries pictures of his family where his money used to be. A father is respected because he gives his children leadership. Appreciated because he gives his children care. Valued because he gives his children time. Loved because he gives his children the one thing they treasure the most- himself. That being said and done, the most important thing that a father can do for his children, is to love their mother.

Happy Father’s Day to all fathers and especially, father figures. In a harsh world that has left many families without fathers, it will be ignorant of me and you, not to honor all those who have taken it up upon themselves, to head families and be father-figures. The child-lead families, the step fathers and guardians, we greatly appreciate you and honor you. Not only today, but, till God comes for us. 

By C. Banda